#literally what the fuck am i doin up at 10am

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

I need to be legally obligated to kill ppl who wake me up early

[eerythingisshaka]

Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 8

[Erik Killmonger x Black!OC]

Word Count: 4k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7

It’s the night before the vacation, and Kimara is still ripping around the house trying to figure out how to fit as many outfits into her bags as possible.  

Erik sits on the bed scrolling through his phone.  “It’s only five days, Mara.  You already overdoing it.”

Kimara comes back with a couple of neon colored swimsuits in her hands.  “I just have to have variety for the ‘gram.  That means a different look a day, maybe even a couple different looks a day.”  

Kimara got to her knees, stuffing a bag and closing it.  The zipper traveled laboriously around the lip of the luggage, sticking at a thicker point.  Kimara sat down on the bag to help it along a the zipper groaned close.  

She takes a large exhale before saying, “Damn!  I didn’t put my sandals in there!”

Erik scoffs as he gets up to use the bathroom.  “You can just wear them to the airport or put it in your carry on.”

“No my carry on is filled with my hair and skin products, plus some towels cuz I don’t trust their towels, you know that.”

As Erik relieves himself, Kimara gets quiet, getting up and looking at herself in the mirror.  Her fresh golden brown goddess locs flow over her breasts and down her back as she spins around checking her body’s profile.

The toilet in the other room flushes as Erik comes back, drying his hands on his pants.  “Whatchu doin?”

“Well...I’m thinking this may be the last vacation I take as someone without kids.  After this break, We finally take some major moves to go into getting pregnant.”

Kimara puffs out her cheeks holding her stomach as her vision goes blurry.  The tears beat her before she could stop them, racing down her face to the finish line at her jaw.

Erik pulls her into him, rubbing her back gently.  “It’s gonna be so good, because you’re good.  We deserve a break and we deserve a family.”

Kimara holds her arms around him tighter, tears manifesting even more but out of his loving words.  She never thought that after telling him she had her abortion that he would have anything kind to say to her.  But it’s almost like it unlocked a much needed door that opened him up to fulling standing by her and her needs.  

“We do deserve it.  It’s been so hard, but I know we can do it,”  Kimara sniffles.  Erik kisses her forehead, wiping some stray tears from her face.  

“Now, I don’t know about what you got left to pack but long as you have your passport, I think you have enough stuff.  Go on and wash you ass off and get some sleep.  The flight early as a motherfucker.”

Kimara agrees, going over to her vanity to tie up her hair.  Erik grabs his phone and bounds down the stairs.  He takes out a bottle of water, cracking it open and hooting after the cool liquid freezes the inside of his chest.  

Hearing the shower turn on upstairs, Erik sits at the dining room table and dials T’Challa.  The phone rings and rings.

“How are you, N’Jadaka?”  T’Challa greets him warmly.

“I’m good, pretty good.  Y’all excited for this trip though?”

“Ah, Iman is very excited.  She has been looking forward to it ever since my invitation.”

“Good!  You making sure she stay looking cute for you?  Got her some nice pieces to impress?”

T’Challa answers slowly.  “I...am glad you brought this up.  We are no longer considered a couple.  This will be a friendly trip for us at best, but we are not linked romantically.”

Erik expresses genuine shock, mouth agape over the phone.  “Damn man, what happened?!  Mara made it seem like y’all were a good look at that one dinner thing y’all came for.  Shit, the fact you bagged her the first night told me you musta really been feeling her.  What, she didn’t like your Jesus slides?”

“Aye!”  T’Challa scolds him like a grandfather who can’t catch nobody for a whoopin but they know not to try him anyway.  “My footwear has nothing to do with it.  We are simply not compatible, but it was amicable.”

Erik shrugs.  “Well whatever it is, I guess it’s for the best.  I don’t get why somebody would pass on a literal King but listen, I will take you clothes shopping with me and we can make you over so you’re pulling females right and left!”

“Enough, I won’t beg for attention,”  T’Challa says.

“Fair enough, aight.  What about you then?  Does it make it kind of awkward to go now your girl ain’t your girl?”

“No.  It has been a while since I visited an island for pleasure, so it will be a nice change of pace.  How about yourself and Kimara?”

Erik gets quiet, twisting a stray piece of string from his sweatpants that will guarantee making a hole if he snatches it.

“Well we good.  Mara is excited and I am too cuz I need a break from the whites over at Boeing and this city air.  But I did wanna talk about something she said to me that made me kinda take a step back, you know.  Not like I’m stepping away but like it pushed me back like WOW.”

“Say it simply and clearly, N’Jadaka,”  T’Challa says.  Erik sometimes rambles when he has something big to say and T’Challa never fails to be impatient about it.

“Right, right.  Aight.  So, we having our time together, just hanging out and stuff when she turns to me and tells me something I did not expect.  Like, I don’t know how she could keep that from me for so long considering all we been through.”

“What was it about?”

“Basically, she comes to me and says that way back, before we were officially a thing and before OUR shit together….Mara had an abortion.  The baby was mine too.”

T’Challa sits on the phone quietly.  He assumes this is the best method of digesting the information he already knew when he first met Kimara.  She poured her heart out to him in the midst of Erik’s recovery and rehabilitation.  But Erik couldn’t hear that and take it well.

“You still there, Challa?”  Erik asks after a while.  

“Yes, it is just a lot to hear.”

Erik throws a hand up.  “Fuck yeah it is!  Like...all this time we been trying for a kid.  She didn’t think that should be brought up?  I wonder if the doctors even know.  That might be the problem we having in all this!  Maybe her shit got botched or something.”

“I am sure the doctors would have noticed something wrong with her during routine examination if that were true.  Non-surgical abortions are an option.”

Erik scratches his head.  “Sure, yeah.  But...why didn’t she say this YEARS ago!  I been fucking with her for a decade, and she doesn’t trust me to know this?  I’m still here!”

“You were different then Erik.  So angry and feeling betrayed, she assumed you would think she betrayed you too.”

Erik thinks back to when Kimara met him in Wakanda, how tired she looked.  But his reasons for being there were all about himself and Kimara wasn’t ready for that responsibility, that’s when she left him there.  That was the best thing she could’ve done for him because he worked that whole year trying to get right for her again.  And she was there in that studio she loves, waiting for him like always.

“I would have a ten year old right now.  Almost middle schooler right now!”  Erik exclaims, thinking about a little Mara/Erik hybrid running around and causing havoc.  

“You can still have that.  Just be honest with each other and what you are feeling,” T’Challa instructs.

“Yeah, I been doing that.  I can tell Mara been walking around like a puppy caught chewing a shoe since she told me.  But I won’t let her see me upset, I need her to know I am there.  That’s what made all this happen in the first place right?  I wasn’t there, so...Imma be there.”

T’Challa wants to say more but fears overstepping the bounds of Erik and Kimara’s relationship.  “Tell her you are upset about it.” 

Erik hears the shower upstairs turn off.  “Nah, I’m good.  Her feelings are all I’m worried about.  I can’t risk her turning from me again man.  But thanks Challa, you always got a good er for listening, so I’ll talk to you later man.”

Erik hangs up to go back upstairs, feeling lighter having had a talk with someone he trusts.  Kimara is already laid up with the covers under her chin, fake sleeping.  Erik takes off his pants, rolling into bed with nothing between his skin and the sheets.  Mara is wrapped up in one of hs tshirts and turns her back to him to allow her little spoon to fit his big spoon.

“Why are you acting like you cold?”  Erik asks.  Kimara is usually in the buff like him when they sleep.

“Because I am.  You got the air on too damn chilly,”  Kimara’s teeth chatter as she settles in to him, his body heat eventually making up for the lack of heat outside their blanket cocoon.  Erik kisses her behind her ear, thinking about tomorrow’s trip with a little dread.

--

Kimara, Erik, Iman, and T’Challa all make their way off of the plane as they arrive at the beautiful resort in Turks and Caicos.

“Look at all the amazing views!  That water, ugh!”  Kimara excitedly rolls her luggage over to a window that oversees the resort’s amenities.   An infinity pool, hot tubs, massage areas, sauna, a bar that catches Kimara’s eye for having real coconuts to drink from.

“Erik, look!  That canopy I think has the couple massage shit.  I reserved it for us on Thursday at 10am.”

“Ok, princess.  That sounds good,” Erik says with not nearly as much excitement.

Iman stands next to Kimara, eyes widening.  “Ooh child, yes!  Imma look good for these champagne papis looking for a sugar baby to spoil.  Can we please get our room so I can change out of these airport struggle clothes?!”

“I hear you on that,” Erik says, leading the group to the reception desk.  Kimara hangs back with T’Challa who has been awfully quiet.

“Are you and Iman…”  Kimara whispers.

“No longer a couple,”  T’Challa finishes.  “It’s not something to worry about, we are friends.”

“Oh ok, cool.  Cuz when she started talking about finding a sugar daddy I was like whaaa?”

T’Challa shrugs.  “She is free to do as she wants, as am I.”  T’Challa offers Kimara a soft smirk to confirm his contentment.  

Kimara gives his arms a squeeze.  “Ohh, T.  You got your pick of the litter around here.  You the damn ultimate sugar daddy!  I just don’t understand the girl!”

“Most people don’t recognize fortune at their feet when their nose is in the air.”  Kimara lets out a small ooh enjoying the lowkey burn T’Challa just sent Iman’s way with her being none the wiser.

Erik and Kimara split down a hall to the left as T’Challa and Iman split down a hall to the right.  The hall is decorated with hanging plants and wicker framed artwork, giving off heavy gentrified bohemian vibes.

As Erik opens the door to the room, Kimara bursts in and rockets herself into the bedroom.  Erik rolls his and her luggage in.

“Damn, this place looks nice as hell baby!”  Kimara calls out from the room.  

“It should be for what it cost.”  Erik looks out at the beach below watching some middle age white folk laying like lobsters out in the sun.  Middle aged white folk running along the shore.  Elderly white folk sitting in the ocean.

“There sure is a lotta fuckin white folk here,”  Erik says, walking around the room to check out the bathroom and kitchen area.  The fridge has fresh strawberries and grapes, a sack of bagels, orange juice and a case of bottled water.  On the counter next to it is a menu for room service and a schedule for group meals during their stay.  Erik takes it into the bedroom with him to alert Kimara.

“You tryna catch dinner happening tonight?  Supposed to be a barbecue thing.”

Kimara groans, head face down in the pillow, locs sprawled all around.   “I can’t even think about eating when my body just wants to do nothing.  I’m tired.”

“You sure?  I know your ass finna get real hungry later.  You ain’t had nothing but them pretzels on the flight,”  Eric warns.

“I can’t get up!  And I won’t until I knock out, Erik please let me sleep.”

Erik tuts at her.  “Ok, princess.  But I ain’t paying this high ass room service cuz you slept thru dinner.”

Kimara wiggles around, fighting her hair to get a good look at him.  “Stop acting broke, Erik.  It’s not a good look.  And you know I’m grown right?  I can do what I want?  Right?  Ok, glad we up to speed.”

Erik rolls his eyes as Kimara plops her head back down, shimmying under the covers like a prairie dog.

--

Kimara rolled over to one side, feeling the grip of sleep starting to loosen its hold.  Kimara stretched from her fingertips to her toes, seizing up in the bliss of her fully relaxed muscles.  She sits up, pulling her locs back as her eyes adjust to the dark room. 

“Where the fuck- OH!”  Kimara puts a hand to her heart, forgetting that she was not home and still on vacation.  

She gets out of be and checks the time on her phone is 11:14 pm and a waiting text from Erik.

“Did I really sleep for 8 hours?” Kimara asks herself, wiping her eyes as she looks around the room, finding a lamp to turn on.  She sits on the couch feeling her stomach grumble.  

“Goddamn I am hungry,”  She says, picking up the pamphlet Erik was looking at for room service.  But it ended at 10:30.

“That is bullshit.”  Kimara sits back pouting, wondering what she was going to do for food.  She checks her phone again, almost forgetting Erik texted.  

BBQ in fridge, it reads.  Timestamp says 7:13pm.  

Kimara bolts for the fridge to find a tinfoil wrapped plate sitting on the shelf just for her.  She does a little dance to open it up, finding pork ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, green beans and a roll.  She takes a bite of the bread first, shimmying her shoulders with glee that it is a King’s Hawaiian.  

She pops the plate into the microwave, hopping on her tiptoes in anticipation for some chowdown goodness.  Once the microwave beeps, the room door opens.  

“Sleeping Beauty finally awake?”  Erik asks, his breathing is a little labored.

Kimara picks up her plate and brings it to the kitchen bar, climbing up on a stool.  “Mh-mm, not until you come over her after leaving me all day on vacation.”

“Girl please,”  Erik says walking over to plant a kiss on Kimara’s lips.

“Oof, you are sweaty!  What you been doing tonight?”

Erik’s tank top draped over his shoulder, Kimara stares at the glistening of his scarred skin as he gets a bottle of water.  

“Me and T and his girl been downstairs hanging out, mostly me and T though.  How’s your barbecue?”

Kimara shrugs.  “It’s ok.  The sauce could be better but long as the meat ain’t pink I’ll call it a blessing.  Hand me that salt shaker by the stove.”

Erik does so, standing on the other side of the bar to wipe his face and neck with his shirt.

“And I am so surprised they are even on this trip together still,” Kimara says while shaking some salt over her beans and corn.”

“Who?”  Erik asks.

“T’Challa and Iman!  You know what, I forgot to mention.  I spoke to T’Challa at check in and he said they broke things off.”

Erik points in the air, remembering, “You right yeah he mentioned that.”

“Oh, he told you today while y’all were hanging?  Did Iman say anything?”

Erik shakes his head.  “Nah, he told me the day before.”

Kimara cocks her head to the side thinking.  “The other day?  Like yesterday?”

“Yeah, I called him when we were packing.”

“But I didn’t hear you talk on the phone.  We were together that whole time,”  Kimara says, pausing her meal to think about it.

Erik shrugs.  “You were in the shower.”

Kimara wants to fold her arms but her bbq sauced hands prevent her.  “Hand me a paper towel.”

Erik does so.  “Is something wrong with me taking a call with my cousin?”

Kimara scoffs while cleaning her fingers.  “Not at all.  What did you all talk about?”

“The trip.  Just how excited we were and then he brought up they aren’t a thing no more.”

“Really?  Huh.  I think that’s weird Erik.”  

“What’s weird about it?” Erik counters, looking sternly at Kimara.

“You didn’t tell me you called him and you almost always tell me when you’ve seen him or heard from him when I ask you about the day.”

“Almost, you said.  SO this one time I didn’t.  I don’t think you asked about my day either,”  Erik quips.

“Because we were together the whole day, I know how it went cu I was there.”

“Sure.”

They pause in silence for a minute, Kimara staring him down and Erik returning the glare.

“Problem, princess?”  he asks.

“You’re hiding something.”

“I talked to my cousin, what else is there to it?!” Erik barks, making Kimara jump on her stool.  She gets down, creating some distance.

“All I asked is what you all talked about.  And I didn’t even know you had a conversation with him one day before our trip, I think it’s sus.”

“Oh, I’m sneaky?  That’s a big accusation.”

Kimara felt something twist in her chest.  “What does that mean Erik?”

Erik walks into the bedroom as Kimara follows.  He turns into the bathroom and starts the shower as Kimara sits on the bed waiting.  When Erik comes back out, Kimara wastes no time.

“You told him didn’t you,” Kimara says quietly.  She doesn’t look at Erik, hoping she is wrong and overreacting and waiting for him to say so, but he sits down instead.

“I told him what you told me.”

Kimara exhales deeply, holding her face in her hands.  Erik takes her into his chest, comforting her.

“You didn’t have to tell him.  Why would you tell him?”

“Like I said.  He’s my cousin.  Family oughta know and he knows a lot more worse shit about me than this.”

Kimara looks at Erik, holding his face in her hands.  “I’m sorry you had more shit to tell him.  How did he react?”

Erik shrugs.  “Kinda just neutral.  It was so long ago, I wasn’t acting upset so I think he knew he didn’t have to be.”

Kimara feels a small victory in that.  She still feels like she should confront T’Challa about it, just to make sure they are on the same page.

“I’m glad you weren’t too upset then.  You don’t have to tiptoe around me, just tell me what’s real.  We gotta be honest about what’s going on.”

Erik gives a small smirk.  “He said something like that too.”

Kimara hugs Erik, taking this battle as a win.  “You can take a shower now.”

Erik chuckles.  “Yeah me and T had a volleyball match downstairs that got hella intense.”

Kimara gets up, putting on her shoes.  “Well I think I should take a walk along the beach some.”

“Yeah, you got energy now from that long ass nap of yours.  Be careful though.  Call me if you need something.”

When Kimara makes it to the bottom floor, the automatic doors leading outside create a gust of air that whips Kimara’s sundress almost too high for public decency.  As she steps out on the sand, she looks around the dimly lit beach area.  Along the sand there were vendors and seating but into the ocean the sky was so dark and the ocean almost looked like oil.  The moon wasn’t shining so bright, so she could barely catch any blips of light against the waves.

“Kimara!” 

She turns to see Iman bounding towards her.  She has a generous F cup size, barely being held by her neon yellow bikini top, making her noticeable even in the night.

“What’s going on?  You just woke up?”

“Yeah, too bad I didn’t set an alarm.  Heard you guys had fun.”

Iman smiles.  “Hell yeah we did.  T and Erik had their guy time, being macho all on the volleyball court.  Busted two damn balls cuz they throwing their hands so damn hard.”

Kimara laughs.  “Erik refuses to let T’Challa win in anything so that’s accurate.”

“Right!  Hey look, so project Sugar Daddy is underway.  I got a bunch of drinks off this old man that kept a tab open.  I think he forgot because he’s old but that’s besides the point.  But he offered to play yahtzee or mancala  or something tomorrow with some of his buddies.  That should be lit!”

Kimara throws her hands to the sky.  “I mean what else is there to do.  Make sure his tab is open.”

“Only way to play!”

Kimara looks around Iman.  “T’Challa is down here, right?”

“Uh huh, cooling off over there even though he barely broke a sweat.  He act kinda like a mutant sometimes.  Too cool and too strong.”

“Is that why you couldn’t stand to be with him?” Kimara asks.

“A little, yeah, and that tooth necklace he always wear is weird.  He wasn’t giving me a lot of himself so I figure good dick is everywhere.  I’ll pass.”

Kimara shrugs and dismisses herself to go talk to T’Challa.  He is laid out with his hands behind his head, looking rather peaceful.

Kimara comes up to him and smacks his perfectly toned stomach.  T’Challa peeks open one eye knowingly.  

“Kimara,” he says in a monotone.

“Don’t gossip with Erik, ok?”

T’Challa sits up.  “In what way?”

“I mean in the only way.  Speaking behind my back.  Talking about personal things without the other person’s input.”

“If this is about your shame-”

“HA! Shame?  You keep calling it a shame, I am not ashamed anymore!  He knows and he is fine.  We are fine!”

T’Challa blinks unperturbed.  “Then what is the problem?”

“Just!”  Kimara sits by his legs to form her thoughts.  “Erik didn’t know about that, you did.  He hasn’t known for years and just found out.  If he knew you knew, wouldn’t that be a problem?”

“No.”

“Exactly, so-- Wait, no?”

“No, it wouldn’t be a problem.  Because if he blames you, he is completely missing the situation he put you in.  It would be selfish of him to hold that against you.”

“Uh huh…”

“But for you to not say anything at first was for his benefit when he was emotionally and mentally bruised by his background.  However since he has recovered and continues to, holding that back then turns into a betrayal to him because it looks as though you don’t trust him or yourself.”

Kimara stands up.  “The fuck?  Why wouldn’t I trust him?!”

T’Challa shrugs.

“No you got so much to say, say what that means!”

“All I know is I have no secrets between you and I or he and I.  Why there is miscommunication between you two is something for you both to find out.  And I suggest you do before becoming with child.”

“Fuck you T’Challa.  Honestly.  Don’t come at me like this.  I said keep your mouth shut about me around Erik, period.  So do that.  I don’t know why you came on this trip anyway.  It was a couples trip and you brought a random bitch out here like that’s ok.”

“It didn’t cost me much,” T’Challa says, sinking back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

Kimara walks along the beach fuming.  T’Challa was so blunt with her, he hadn’t acted like that with her in a long time.  T’Challa acts like he is so perfect, but he isn’t.  Kimara sighs heavily with the prospect of being here four more days but T’Challa will not be with Erik for as much of the trip as possible as far as she is concerned.

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique  @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisange l@wakanda-inspired @klaine15689 @savageiz @nickidub718@yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife @bakarisangel @amorestevens​ 

[aquarianlights]

1-50, bitch. 💕

Oh. . . . .oh no. . . I asked for this, didn’t I? WELP. HERE WE GO!

[I had a LOT of fun with everything that I got to put pictures and gifs into. Especially the aesthetic one. Holy wow. I’d love to see if anyone else has similar aesthetics to me???]

Putting this under a read more because the length of this is gonna be ridiculous.

1. Have you met your soul mate?

Yes. I’m responding to her right now in this ask. (: I’ve also met my two platonic soul mates, as well.

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?

I would like to say clear and cerulean were tied, but no one ever thinks of clear as a colour so. . .doin’ a frustrate. Now, it would be clear and electric ocean blue. Like the one colour in my hair that I will never be able to replicate.

That one. Electric ocean blue.

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?

I do. VERY rarely, but I do. Normally, it’s blue or some form of cool colour. Sometimes I do a blue and purple ombre fade. But, uh, recently I’ve been doing warm colours and it looks very, uh. . .strange. I’ve been going for a more subtle look so that it’s not as noticeable when I *do* wear makeup. I’ve been trying to get as close to skin tone as possible while still making it a little darker to distinctly be eye shadow. I’ve been wearing this, uh. . .kind of burnt orange, sort of red eye shadow, I guess you could say? It doesn’t look *bad* on me, but I’m not a huge fan of it, either. I’m just trying to look more professional lately and that means toning it down on the make-up on the rare occasion I do wear any. I am enjoying getting in touch with my professional side and developing him since he doesn’t really exist, but it’s been difficult. Thankfully, there’s quite a few seminars in my vet tech school about professionalism. I’m sure there will be more in pre-med.

4. Are you in love right now?

I am, indeed. I’m answering this ask from her. :) I’ve been in love with her for quite some time, I’d say.

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?

I would have to say probably not. Lust at first sight is real. Love? Nahhhhh, I’m not sure I’m a believer. Haha. I feel like I fell in love with Tiffy at first sight. . .but I didn’t even actually “see” her, since we met online. I have never fell in love at first sight. I have thought I have, but I was wrong. I did fall in love with Tiffy not but shortly after meeting her. But she was really the only one, tbh.

6. Are you an optimist, realist, opportunist, or pessimist?

I am a pragmatist. I’d have to say, out of these, a realist. I would like to be an opportunist, though. I do not think I am, but it’s possible that I am. Not entirely sure, though. I need to be to get through med school and I need to be until I get well established in my career path. Hmm, how does one condition oneself to be an opportunist? I guess it helps that I am not a pessimist or an optimist already. I am a scientist through and through so I only listen to the facts. I only relay the facts. I only see the facts. I only believe in the facts. Looking at it positively or negatively doesn’t do anyone any good. Things are just as they are and that’s that. No use being positive or negative about it. So I suppose it helps to be a pragmatist when you want to condition yourself to be an opportunist, yeah?

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

I feel like I have told this one before! I’m gonna get the details differently this time, though, because specifics are always missing from my mind as the memory ages and this was a LONG fucking time ago.

I don’t know which one counts as my first real one. The one in, like, kindergarten where a boy and I kissed because of a grass eating tournament and a playground thing? [Don’t ask. Lol.]

Or the one in 5th grade. I’m pretty sure everyone would say the one in 5th grade. It involved me, my friend, a boy and his friend. We all excused ourselves to go to the bathroom one by one which was no easy feat in a private catholic school. We met up at the designated spot in one of the back side hallways out of the ways of the camera. We had our two friends with us because we wanted to have them as witnesses that we would be the first ones in our class to kiss. But we were super nervous for some reason. And they ended up pushing us together. And we basically just pecked lips and that was that. . .LMAO. We were all super giddy after that. We then had to all sneak back to the classroom one by one at weird intervals to make it look normal. I’m sure the teacher knew something was up, but back then, we felt like the sneakiest kids alive and we thought we hadn’t gotten caught with anything. Pffft.

8. Do you own stickers, an stationary?

Oh my god, DO I?! HAHAHA. THESE ARE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS I COLLECT! My door was COVERED from top to bottom in stickers growing up and it was my prized possession because it was my sticker collection. I put every sticker I had on that door. So when we moved. . .I had my parents take the fucking door with us. . .It’s literally outside of my old room in the basement at my parents house. The entire fucking door with all those stickers on it. HAHA. Know what I miss? Bowling alley stickers. UGH. The ONE AND ONLY THING my father used to do with me as a kid was bring me to the bowling alley and I would ALWAYS get stickers. And those bowling alley french fries were my favourite things on the entire planet and I haven’t had them since I was a kid and I would literally fucking kill a man to taste those again. . .but the bowling alley that I was in when I was a little kid back in the 90′s where I got all those stickers and got the most amazing french fries in the entire world burned down before we moved. :/ And yes I also collect stationary. I have a ridiculous amount of stationary. Hah.

9. What’s your aesthetic?

I have way too many aesthetics. Yeesh. . .Uhhhhhh. . .lessee.

Okay, I’m gonna stop, but DEAR GOD THAT WAS THE MOST FUN I HAVE EVER HAD ANSWERING A QUESTION AND I HONEST-TO-GOD THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE ANNOYING!

Also, that last picture. . .I saved it to my computer from someone. I don’t know the credit to the photographer. If someone can find the credit, tell me and I will add it in. It’s from one of the autumn blogs I follow. But that photograph evoked so much emotion in me and I have *never* had to stop and stare at a photograph for so long. That photograph would be something I would like to buy and hang as an original print in my house. That is something I could not help but save because it is my *EXACT*.... Idk how to explain. Every single thing about that picture evokes pure happiness in me. That time of day when the sun is going down and lighting is bathing you in that little bit of warm orange Halloween themed glow as it starts to get freezing at night. . .you can literally see how nice and cool and crisp the air is and how absolutely perfect the weather is. . .how the leaves are falling and crunchy. . .It’s perfect because it’s not in a forest so you’re not trapped in nature, but there are trees everywhere and there is that nice brick layout. . .what looks like shops or a campus of some sort. . .benches, a place to sit with your love [Tiffy, oh my GOD]...those street lamps are very literally perfect. . .the shade is wonderful. . .I cannot even begin to explain the emotion of happiness this evokes. I cannot explain it in any other word. Joy does not fit. Euphoria does not fit. It’s literally “Happiness”. That is what this picture is. “Happiness”. Bring me into that picture and I would feel full and gleeful and warm and filled to the brim with energy and contentedness and I would be able to forget all of my worries and all of my stress would melt away and all of my responsibilities would either fall to the wayside or just not seem so daunting or urgent anymore. . .time would slow down. . .my body would feel lighter and healthier. . .my mind would be clearer. . .That is basically what I need to be happy.

10. Do you wear dresses, and skirts?

No, I do not. I used to enjoy wearing them and I still like the idea of wearing them, but now every time I put one on, it feels horribly dysphoric and hurts me. I’m sure when I fully transition, I will feel a lot more comfortable wearing both.

11. What is your hair like?

Uhhh. . .blonde with white streaks in it now (just bleached it today and put white toner in the bleach). It’s incredibly soft and fluffy. Obviously more brittle than someone who has never used product on their hair ever, but for someone who has been bleaching their hair every few months and dyeing their hair practically every month since they were 13 (and are now 26)? My hair is stupid soft and fluffy. Imagine a soft, fluffy cat. . .just. . .a giant furry ball of cat. . .Pet that. . .you have my hair. And, also yes, that is an invitation to pet me. I absolutely love being pet.

12. Does time go by fast or slow to you?

Usually slow.

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

On the rare occasion that I go to sleep at all, I end up sleeping around 2-4am. And honestly anywhere from 6am-10am is a fair time for me to wake up, but that’s gonna have to stop coz classes are starting in 2 DAYS GAH!!!! And my first class starts at 11am, which means I gotta be up and ready by 10, at least, on my first few weeks! GAH.

14. Favorite sweet food?

Is this even a question??? Chocolate, of course! Every kind of chocolate! I’m not too fond of white chocolate, which is ironic, because white chocolate used to be my favourite kind growing up. Now dark chocolate is my favourite and I used to absolutely hate dark chocolate growing up.

15. Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa?

Tea! Specifically, green tea! I love citrus infused green tea, but I’ll take any sort of green tea. :)

16. Space, Ocean, City, or Forest?

[Answered.]

17. Favorite game as a child?

I, uh. . .well, Pokemon Stadium was one. Then there was, uh. . .Trivial Pursuit was my favourite board game. And then my friends and I played a really fucking weird game when we were really young. We had a bunch of McDonald’s plastic toys (like. . the food and drinks) and we had a pool at my house with a jacuzzi that had a waterfall. One of us would stay up in the jacuzzi and hold ourselves up with our arms over the waterfall (which was hard to do because we were so young and so short) and then the others of us would get on one of those floaty mat things and we would go through the “drive thru” and “order” and it would be like.... adulting and we’d pay with plastic money. LMAO. And then there was uh. . .being dogs. There is that mush stuff from Oliver & Company, yeah? This stuff?

Well, it just looked SO GODDAMN DELICIOUS when he ate it all the fucking time that we decided to make our own. We made ours out of yogurt and put chocolate chips in it. It was SO fucking good!!! And we would put yourselves in a cage and put our yogurt with chocolate chips in a bowl and eat it like that.

And then there was the game when I had two trampolines but one trampoline was falling apart and had half of it undone because the springs were broken. We asked my parents to keep it up. We were still little here, too. We pulled the trampolines together with a small gap between them and we would pretend to be lions from The Lion King and The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride and we would have to jump back and forth on all fours while chasing each other. SURPRISINGLY. . .no one ever got hurt. Idk how the fuck we managed that. I guess we were all pretty adept at trampolines since we were on them literally every single day.

There was also the bike riding game where we pretended we were secret agents chasing down a bad guy. One of us would play the bad guy and the others would play the FBI agents.

There were a LOT. . .lmao. I wish I could remember the one that my next door neighbour and I used to play where we would go through all the really jungle-esque parts of the yard and explore and act like we were tour guides or something. I don’t remember what that one was about, but it involved climbing trees and I cannot tell you how many times I have had the wind knocked out of me from falling out of the super tall tree in the front yard of the house I grew up in. Getting the wind knocked out of you is the worst fucking feeling in the entire world. I wonder if that’s what bronchospasms feel like. I wonder if getting the wind knocked out of you *IS* a bronchospasm. Yikes.

18. Comfort book?

1984 by George OrwellDivergent by Veronica RothThe Monument 14 series by Emmy LaybourneCarve The Mark by Veronica RothThe Quarantine series by Lex Thomasand finally, my all-time favourite and my #1 go-to:Blind Evil by Eric Praschan 😍😍😍😍😍😻😻😻😻😻

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?

[Answered.]

20. Do you fall in love easily?

Not particularly, no. I fall in lust easily. Not in a sexual way. . .but in a romantic lust way. Like a “Damn, I wish I could just date that girl for fun for a very short while or bring her home with me and cuddle and watch movies all night and talk until the sun comes up and kiss each other a few times and get to know each other and trace each other’s collar bones and gaze into each other’s eyes and talk about super deep stuff and then kiss deeply and passionately in the morning and watch the sunrise together and go out for a romantic breakfast together . .and then just never see each other again after it’s over.” A romantic one-night stand basically. That’s what I’m in the market for. Lol. Except. . .everyone wants sexual one-night stands. Ugh. Lol.

21. Favorite word?

Echo.

22. Describe your life in 3 words.

Chaotic, Impulsive, Passionate.

23. Do you dance? Slow dance?

Slow dance? God, no. Do I dance? I have taken so many dance lessons, it’s ridiculous. Tap dance, Irish step dance, jazz, ballet. . .I want to take modern precision dance classes, but I can’t overwork myself until a PT clears me. And I’m also at that inbetween stage where I’m not fat enough to join an overweight dance class so I get rejected from those and I’m not skinny enough to join a normal dance class, so I get rejected from those, too. So I don’t have any classes I can go to. :|

24. Do you wear fake nails, or paint your nails?

Both, actually! My nails are painted right now, but it’s coming off. Took me absolutely forever to paint them. Gosh. I love wearing fakes, too, but they never fucking stay on unless I get them done at a salon, which I have only done twice in my life. And, frankly, I fucking LOVE getting manicures!! I LOVE getting acrylics! I LOVE getting long, sparkly, glittery, rounded claws! I mean, for fucks sake, did you see my last mani??? Fuck, lemme find it. It was GORGEOUS.

UH YESSSS! Not to mention, whenever I get a mani and have gel acrylics on, I don’t rip my fucking nails down past where my finger tip is so that it starts gushing blood like I normally do. And I don’t start ripping off hang nails left and right or picking at the skin between the nail and the finger on the side and intentionally ripping bits of flesh off and making myself bleed and ripping my finger raw. It’s awful and it hurts SOOOOO much and it’s terribly embarrassing to start randomly gushing blood in public and have to find something to try to make it stop as quickly as you can. Lol.

25. Has anyone ever confessed to you?

If you haven’t had at least ONE (1) PERSON CONFESS TO YOU BY NOW, I’m gonna assume you’re a fucking 5 year old. Like jesus christ. How is this even a question. Haha. Everyone has people that confess to them. Easily. Every. One. There is not a soul on tumblr that can honestly say “no” to this question. Not a single person. My number? I stopped counting years ago because it was getting ridiculously high both online and irl. Couldn’t do it anymore. I have no idea how many people have confessed by now, tbh.

26. Do you lie?

The second a cop puts his lights on behind me, I go right into acting mode. I will lie to *ANY* authority figure, but cops are the one special party that get singled out for me to lie to no matter what situation we are in. Fucking pricks. If you know me, then you know I have a problem with being too honest, though. Like, *wayyyyy* too honest. Honest to a horrible fault. So for me to lie to people is *extremely hard*. But I do it to authority figures because they deserve it. Especially cops. If I am genuinely at fault and the thing I did was bad and another person or animal would suffer at my expense if I were to not be honest, then I will just be my normal self. But if it’s ANY other situation with an authority figure, the fake, lying Killian will come out to play.

27. What makes you smile?

A lot of things. Tiffy makes me smile, Echo makes me smile nonstop, dogs make me smile, very specific comedy shoes make me smile, friends make me smile, people who show they care about me genuinely make me smile, getting hit on makes me smile, being invited places makes me smile, getting to go out and do things makes me smile, getting an A on a test makes me smile, getting good achievements that I’m proud of make me smile, being in the middle of the ocean makes me smile, WINTER makes me smile, cold weather makes me smile, Christmas makes me smile, the atmosphere of Fall around Halloween makes me smile, having BIG get togethers with a ton of mutual friends makes me smile, going on road trips with people makes me smile, movie dates with friends makes me smile, having people treat me as if I were legitimately their sibling by blood makes me smile, foxes make me smile, animals in general make me smile. . .I could go on for quite a while.

28. Have you ever cried in a book or movie?

[Answered.]

29. When and who was your first crush?

I honestly have absolutely no idea and no point of reference to even attempt to think back on it to really try to figure it out. I have no idea what period of my life my first crush came about. . .I have no idea how old I was. . .I have no idea if I recognized them as a crush or not. . .So many questions that I can’t answer, honestly. I haven’t a clue. Don’t get me wrong, I’d really like to know because now I’m curious, but I have absolutely no recollection of most of my crushes, nevertheless my very first one. I’m 26. I’m old. You can’t expect me to remember that far back, yeah? Lolololol.

30. Marriage or kids?

OH DEAR GOD PLEASE NOOOOOOOO. I WOULD RATHER BE EATEN ALIVE BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

I mean, marriage. . .the only person I’d ever consider marriage to would be you, Tiffy. That’s it. I see marriage as a trap and a lifelong ball and chain that I don’t EVER want to be caught in. I want to be married to my career in medicine. Any kind of marriage (or relationship) I would have in life would hold me back from my studies. I don’t think I’m really going to be getting romantically involved with anyone else because of how much that will interfere with my career, which is my priority in life. Hell, I’m not even going to be having any more pets after Echo is gone because it would be animal abuse for me, as a trauma surgeon or any kind of surgeon or even as an ER doctor, to live with friends/roommates and own a dog and never be there to take care of it. That’s cruelty to animals. Neglect that is bad enough to be abuse. And since I would only be in the market for adopting spitz dogs, they all need to be hyper-active and need constant affection and constant love or they will end up so stressed that they will chew through your fucking wall. They say pomeranians are good apartment dogs, well, uh. . .yeah, they’re great, but only if you’re there to give them enough attention and take them on walks and let the out to roam all the time and keep them entertained. Like any spitz dog.

As for kids? BRUHHHHHHHH. GOD NO I WOULD RATHER BE FUCKING IMPALED IN BOTH EYES THAN BE FORCED TO HAVE KIDS (which is the *ONLY* way I would ever own any). I would be the absolute worst father imaginable and as a boy who grew up in a neglectful and emotionally/mentally/verbally/physically abusive household, I would NEVER want to put that on any kid. I wouldn’t be purposefully abusive, but I sure as hell would be purposefully neglectful. I can *GUESS* that I would probably end up being accidentally verbally and mentally/emotionally abusive, as well, since I am an Aquarius and because I was raised with the values of not showing any sort of emotion ever. I speak in a monotone and I rarely show any emotion in my expressions and I try not to put any emotion in my verbal inflections. That’s not exactly great for a kid. And since I would absolutely hate and despise the thing every time I saw it, I probably WOULD have some negative inflection in my voice and they would probably pick up on the fact I only put emotion into my voice when talking to them. And that it’s all negative when I talk to them. I would brush off their problems as minor and act like their existence didn’t matter to me and I would treat them like the burden they would be.

Because kids would legitimately put my life on hold. And, I’m not sorry at all when I say FUCK THAT. I love my life and I love living for me and my friends and my dog. I love getting to live my life MOSTLY for me and I love being able to put myself first whenever I want (other than the fact that my dog comes first no matter what, but that is something I quite love doing because he is my fluffy baby and he is my #1 bae and he is my priority of all priorities) and I quite enjoy being able to take “me” days and being able to travel and move whenever I want. I enjoy having my finances be MY OWN and not having to waste them on some fucking moocher. And, frankly, to have the responsibility of having to financially support a human being for 18 years and probably more than that nowadays is VERY unappealing and makes me panic because, hell, if I struggle to provide for myself and usually only have a year or so inbetween those years of struggling where it’s okay for me financially. . .how the FUCK am I expected to buy MORE things??? All these bitches in my age group are having kids and they make either as much or LESS than me. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! The answer to “When is the right time to have a baby?” is “When you KNOW with absolute certainty that you can fucking afford it, you morons.” It’s one thing if a mother accidentally gets knocked up and is blocked from aborting it for some reason (not by religion or whatever, coz that’s just irresponsible and immature, but like. . .by the law, by health reasons, by personal safety reasons, by financial reasons, etc. . .), then alright, I see why you’re having a kid at my age when you most definitely cannot afford the thing. But as for the rest of them? Fuck these irresponsible bitches. Good god.

Not to mention, I am 200% against breeders and spawning in general, because it’s just not environmentally friendly at all. And I hate breeders with a passion because there’s absolutely no reason to bring children into a world that is riddled by an overpopulation issue when there’s PLENTY of children in literal NEED of homes EVERYWHERE. It fucking kills me to see people breeding and spawning. Absolutely fucking kills me with how selfish people can be.

I also just wish the entirety of the human race would die out, so it’d also be nice if everyone could just uh. . .go infertile or something, but y’know. . .that’s wishful thinking that will probably never happen. Lol.

But dear god if I ever am forced into having kids, I seriously feel very sorry for the kid and it would be in the kids best interest for me to give it up the second it’s alive. I’mma pass that thing off to the nearest orphanage and make sure that someone who WANTS it and who can actually provide for it and actually love it gets it instead of me who would make its life hell and be a horrible father. I would want the thing to have a good life. I want all kids to have good lives. We need them to grow up into good people. They’re our future. Not to mention, human beings in general just deserve to have good lives, kids included. But uh. . .I know my own personal limits, I know my own personal faults, I know my own personal prejudices and biases. I would never knowingly harm another with them by forcing someone to live at the expense of my faults and my limits and my prejudices and biases. Never. I’m a very self-aware person and I’ll be damned if I don’t use that to everyone’s advantage. People who are not self-aware really piss me off because it’s like my god you’re HOW old and you still haven’t learned how to, y’know, read yourself? Grow the fuck up. Jesus christ. But. . .I mean. . .anyways. . .

Dear GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. KILL ME BEFORE YOU MAKE ME DO EITHER OF THESE THINGS. JUST PUT ME DOWN, GODDAMNIT.

31. Are you superstitious?

[Answered.]

32. Who’s your 3 am thought?

Usually it is Tiffy. If it is someone else, then Tiffy is always included. Also, Echo is always included, too. And sometimes my mom. I know this is supposed to be sexual or romantic or something and have some sort of implied “wink wink” meaning, but it doesn’t for me. Nothing ever does. It’s all straight, pragmatic, scientific fact for me. This is, too. It’s just the way it is. Usually always Tiffy and Echo, sometimes exes, sometimes people I’m missing, sometimes my mom. . .recently my grandparents a lot because, y’know, they are dying. Idk.

33. Do you like candy? What’s your favorite candy?

[Answered.]

34. Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! Hands down! If anyone is reading this and is surprised by this answer or just didn’t know this, then WOW you have never actually met me and you JUST followed me and came upon my blog for the very first time, didn’t’cha? HAHA. YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW PASSIONATE I AM ABOUT CHRISTMAS. DO YOU ALL KNOW HOW MANY YEAR ROUND CHRISTMAS BLOGS I FOLLOW JUST SO I CAN KEEP MY SEASONAL DEPRESSION AT BAY DURING THE SUMMER AND FORCE MYSELF TO THINK OF MY HAPPIEST SEASON WHERE I JUST LITERALLY CANNOT BE UNHAPPY: WINTER AND THE HOLIDAY OF CHRISTMAS! You watch, now. You’ll start to notice that I post Christmas things and winter things year round.

35. Favorite season?

Just kinda answered that, uh. . .if you didn’t catch that, it’s hands down WINTER!

36. Cat or dog person?

Dog. I enjoy cats and a lot of people who meet me for the first time see my tattoos which are ALL cat based except for my wrist tattoo and think I’m a cat person and would never be a dog person, but uh. . . HAHA. SURPRISE! DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW DOG-OBSESSED I HAVE BEEN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!? PFFFT. I really don’t know why all of my tattoos have been cat-based so far. I know why my half sleeve is rainbow leopard print. . .but everything else could have been done with foxes, which are my favourite animals, or pomeranians or dogs in general or anything else. But, no, they all ended up being cats. Fucking weird lmao. Especially since I am SO hyper-obsessed with dogs.

37. Are you quiet or loud?

Both, it just depends on what I’m talking about and/or what I’m doing, honestly. I guess I would say I’m generally more quiet than loud, but I definitely do have my loud moments. When I’m talking about things I’m passionate about or when I’m laughing, I’m generally being very loud. I don’t seem to know how to laugh quietly anymore which is odd because in the past, my entire life, I have done nothing but be quiet as a mouse in order to avoid being yelled at and hit and beat and locked up by my parents. NOW. . .I am loud as fuck when I laugh and I can’t seem to tone it down. It’s awful. Lol. And uh. . .when someone tries to talk over me or when someone tries to cut me off or when people are ignoring me. . .I tend to talk REALLY LOUDLY. Like, I will not stand for being ignored and not listened to. I just won’t. I will FORCE myself to be the center of attention, even if I am in a large group. Does not fucking matter how loud and rambunctious I need to get. It’s harder now that I have physical issues now. . .with fibro and ehlers danlos. I don’t have the relentless, stubborn energy I used to have. . .but,. . .I try. I try very hard to act like my normal self and force myself into being the center of attention when people are ignoring me to make sure everyone knows they cannot ignore me even though I just don’t have enough energy anymore. But overall? I’d say I’m quiet. I’m someone who I can be walking and you won’t even hear me come up behind you or enter a room. When I’m at home, I tend to be quiet and monotone. That’s generally where I am most comfortable. Raising my voice for no reason is just. . .uh. . .??? I don’t see a logical point in straining my vocal cords for no reason. Haha.

38. Favorite time period? (80′s, 60′s, etc.)

[Answered.]

39. Favorite fashion fad that went away?

[Answered.]

40. The best dream/ worst nightmare you’ve ever had?

Honestly, I cannot remember either one.

My worst nightmares always involve Echo dying. I know that much. Because that’s literally the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I don’t know what my best dreams involve. Uh. . .no clue.

41. Worst fear as a kid? 

Getting an F, being fearful of what is *in* the dark (not being scared of the dark itself like most people, but being scared of what lurks in the dark), spiders, my mom dying, being disowned, and the paranormal are the things I remember being the most prominent.

44. Do you flirt?

Absolutely! But only to people I find attractive and mentally stimulating.

45. What’s your style?

I love being more casual professional than anything, but I don’t really have the money to get the style I want. Nor do I live in the climate where I can layer. Fuck the LA heat. My winter fashion game is so on point, but literally FUCK everything about summer, but the fashion is the absolute worst. Like, you may as well just not wear anything since wearing even a loose piece of fabric over your body will result in you dying of heat stroke. Oh, you may as well rip all of your skin off, too. Coz that will give you heat stroke, too. But, er, casual professional is my preferred style. I also like professional, too. Can I afford either? Absolutely not. What do I normally wear? Just generally fashionable things that lean a little more towards punk, unfortunately. I definitely hate it and my style is holding me back. Well. . .my finances are holding me back more than anything. I don’t have the finances to get the style that will help me succeed in life, so I’m stuck looking like a little fucking KID. It’s awful. I hate being poor so goddamn much. Sigh. Always have, always will.

46. Do you blush?

[Answered.]

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?

I have borderline personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorder almost never experience the latter two because they’re always busy experiencing everything. . .but never at once. We experience one solid thing with such extreme passion that it’s just. . . Idk how to explain. People with BPD are at 100% all the time. There is never a 0% down time or a 50/50 time, like people with bipolar get. It is always 100% this or 100% that, so on and so forth. Our mood swings don’t consist of hot and cold. They consist of boiling and boiling. . .just boiling two different liquids, basically. Nothing we experience is without passion. And nothing we experience is at less than 100% or coinciding with any other emotion. If we are happy, then we are euphoric. If we are sad, then we are suicidal. If we are angry, we get borderline homicidal. But none of those are ever experienced at the same time, ya feel? So the answer to this question is a tough one for people with borderline because we actually don’t fall under any of those three categories. We experience a passionate one single thing and then have severe mood swings to a passionate form of something else that could be similar or totally opposite. You just never know. WE never know. Having borderline is a fucking curse and that’s only the bare basics of it. Borderline is basically having the most extreme form of passion you could ever have. And, like they say, too much of anything isn’t good for you. Our passion is so intensely felt that it basically destroys our lives because having BPD also means that you are insatiably impulsive and that any impulsive and intrusive thought you get, you usually act on. And those impulses always coincide with the current passion thing we are feeling. And, no, there’s *never* a time where we are *not* feeling a passionate thing. It’s always 100 to 100. Never 50/50 or 0. That passion and impulsivity is the most destructive thing ever. And it gets seen as a great thing by the naked eye. I can’t tell you how many people who get to know me first say “Oh my god, I wish I were like you...You’re so spontaneous and carefree and you are just overflowing with passion for life. I would do anything to have those traits!” They don’t have any idea that, in normal people, those are great things. In borderline people, those are destructive traits that you can never turn off and are more exaggerated than most people’s traits and those traits tend to be the two main things that very literally destroy our lives and the lives of those involved in our lives. . .ripping our lives to shreds piece by piece.

48. Are you a crier? Do you smile?

Both, yes. To a horribly passionate extent. I’m either bawling and pulling my hair out and on the verge of dying. . .or I’m laughing so loudly that I will end up seal laughing.

49. First love?

I wish I remembered, but I do not. If we are talking people. If not, then I fell in love with animals, veterinary medicine, and writing/drawing before I fell in love with anything else in life. Those were my first passions in life and what I wanted to do with my life when I became an adult.

50. Last love?

I guess that award would have to go to Tiffy since I love her right now and she is the *only* one that I am in love with right now. If we aren’t talking about people, then it would be Echo and human medicine. My passions lie there and think they will end there for the rest of my life until I die, too.

Oh my god. I think I did it. . .Did I do it?? It’s literally been over 2 days that I’ve had this tab open working on this off and on between other things. 

I DID IT!! FUCKING RIGHT! I ANSWERED ALL 50 QUESTIONS! GO, KILLIAN, GO! :D GOOD JOB, SELF!

Yeesh, that took a while. I really enjoyed doing this, though. That was fun!

...never begging for more questions on a questionnaire as long as that when Tiffy is around. I guess you could say Killian learned his lesson. . .

I love you, though. Thank you for this!! This made me smile. And was a lot of fun to fill out. I’m SO DONE NOW THOUGH YEET